


Potential

by static_abyss



Series: Flash Bang Bingo (team orange) [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Gen, M/M, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 16:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14382384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/static_abyss/pseuds/static_abyss
Summary: "Nephilim are the children of angels," Maryse says. "That's why all Nephilim have soul marks."For the soulmate square on the Shadowhunters Flash Bang Bingo





	Potential

Isabelle Lightwood is born on a rainy Tuesday, the sunlight barely there in the early hours of the morning, mostly hidden away behind the clouds. At 11:13am, the exact moment of her birth, thunder breaks the calmness in the sky and the wind picks up like a fury. At Isabelle's first cry, the rain falls.

This, her mother says later, is when she knew something was wrong. This, her mother says, is why it made sense that Isabelle was born without a soulmark. 

-

Magnus imagines what his soulmate will be like from the moment the mark appears on his skin, foreign letters in a language Magnus hasn't learned yet. He's aware of bonds and eternal joy, long before he realizes that a boy of five shouldn't have bright yellow eyes with vertical pupils. 

Later, when he learns the sorrow of losing a loved, when he's known for years who his father is and what he can do, when he's met the Silent Brothers and learned of the Down World, Magnus looks again at the letters on his left palm. They are tucked at the center of his palm, along his fate line, from the bottom all the way to where the lines on his palm connect to make the first dip of the letter M. He has the words _I trust you_ in flowing script, neat looping lines that connect to each other in the appropriate places. No line too long, no letter too slanted. Pristine penmanship. Perfect execution.

His soulmate will be a control freak, Magnus thinks. 

Will be, because Magnus has lived close to 400 years and nothing. The letters on his palm are still gray, not the faded light gray that indicates the death of a soulmate, nor the dark gray that indicates a non-romantic soulmate. They're just gray, and Magnus is still waiting.

He is immortal. 

He has one soul mark.

This is the most unfair thing of all.

-

Jace doesn't have a family, not really. He had a mother when he was very young, and then he lost her. He had a father, and he lost that too. Then he had the Lightwoods, and Jace spends the first few years with them wondering when he will lose them, too. 

Fate is cruel, he learns early on. Emotions cloud judgement and soul marks are for children.

Jace doesn't believe, and he comes to hate the cruelness of the _we're family_ scrawled over his heart. As though he, Jace, will ever have a family that doesn't leave or die or go in some way. As though he, Jace, deserves family more than he deserves the emptiness of his words and the pain they cause him. As though he, Jace, will ever find his home.

-

Carly and Simon both know that they're each others soulmates from the moment they are old enough to high five in the sandbox at their closest playground. Even after, when Clary grows up to be beautiful and brilliant, fiery red hair as intense as she is, especially then, Simon knows. He has no doubt in his heart, in his soul, in the deepest part of who he is, that Clary will look at him one day and say "you are my best friend," and the words on Simon's wrist will burn until they turn black.

Clary knows this too. She knows it when they are ten years old and Simon is crying because his father is gone. She knows it when she says his words and Simon gasps, and the words on his wrist burn a deep black before they fade into a gray so deep it could be black, but isn't. 

After that, neither of them know much anymore. Simon especially. He refuses to say Clary's words, refuses to speak to her even, until Clary almost hates the light gray, unchanged, _I love you, Fray_ on her wrist. 

Almost. 

Simon comes around. He always does. But they both know something has changed. And neither of them know what to do with the second set of words, the small, neat _"hey"_ curled into the dip of Clary's collarbone, the messy scrawl down Simon's side, a mocking, _"you have two sets? Kind of selfish of you, isn't it?_.

They let it go, the words, the colors. For now. 

Besides, as long as Simon doesn't say Clary's words, there's no proof that he isn't her soulmate.

-

Alec has five soul marks. Five soulmates. Unheard of even among the Nephilim. 

He has a light gray one on his left knee, a gray so light it's hard to see without the proper lighting. He thinks it belonged to the little Lovelace boy who died at the very end of Valentine's war. The little boy who smiled at Alec everytime they passed each other on the streets of Alicante, at the very beginning of everything for Alec. He can imagine what that would have been like, both of them growing up afraid of being seen, terrified by what they felt. Every moment together one of despair. 

Sometimes, Alec thinks, some things are best left unstarted, untouched. 

Of the marks that he has left, two are still the usual gray of unchanged marks, the potential for soulmates marked in the blandest color imaginable. The last two marks are the ones that matter most to Alec anyway, the ones that keep him going, that give him hope. They're matching sets of words wrapped around his biceps. One set in Izzy's small blocked letters spelling out "I love you, big brother," the second set in Jace's messy scrawl, the "I love you, Alec. You're my brother," almost unreadable. Both sets deepest gray, so dark Alec might one day convince himself they can be confused for black. Dark enough that if any of his unchanged marks turn, he could convince his mother. Dark enough that if any of his other marks were black, he could convince his mother they were dark gray. 

Everything dark enough that Alec can keep his secrets. 

-

Maryse's words were black, bold letters, proudly declaring Robert's love for her, for exactly one day. The second day, the day after their wedding and the start of their honeymoon, Maryse's words faded back to gray.

She has one mark. She has one soulmate. He was, to be concise, a disappointment, a much deeper and more painful one than Maryse expected. But still only just a disappointment. 

Still, when Alec is born, all five of his marks glowing brightest yellow for a second before they settle into gray, Maryse is afraid for the first time in her life. She sees each mark as a sentence, a deep life-altering event that will be present five times throughout her first son's life. She vows then, to love Alec, to support him and guide him so that he's ready, so that when life drags him through hell five times, he will still find home with Maryse. 

She vows this for all the children she may have, promises it over the faded gray mark on her neck. 

And then, Isabelle is born.

Maryse does not understand envy this strong until she holds clean, unmarked Isabelle in her arms, thunder rumbling outside of their room. Isabelle is beautiful, dark Lightwood hair, deep brown Lightwood eyes, smooth baby skin free of marks. Isabelle is unlike the family in that way. 

All Lightwoods have marks. All Lightwoods have soulmates. All Lightwoods are eventually disappointed. 

Yet, Isabelle grows and there's not a mark on her. No Robert in her future. No responsibility to her mark, to her family.

She is free.

Maryse could almost hate her.

Almost.

-

Isabelle keeps it together for the first ten years of her life, past her training, past Jace walking into their lives and changing everything. She holds it together when Jace says Alec's words and the second set of Alec's words change to the deep gray of platonic soulmates. Isabelle even keeps it together when she chooses her whip and Maryse calls her a disappointment to her face. 

But she can't do it when she sees Jace's words change, his "we're family" burning black and fading to deep gray because of her. Because she is Jace's closest companion, not Alec. Because Jace would die for Alec, but Isabelle knows that Jace would live for her. Because she feels how easy it all is, how right, how she and Jace will love each other no matter what. Blood doesn't matter in this. There, on Jace's chest is proof that he belongs, that he is just as much a Lightwood as any of them. 

Isabelle changed two marks for two different people, but she has none. And she doesn't understand what it is about her, what flaw runs so deep into her bones that makes her the first Lightwood in history to be born without a mark. 

"You're worth everything," Alec said to her, the moment before she told him she loved him and changed his second set of words. 

"We're family," Jace says, so often now that none of them know what to do with the sudden acceptance. So sudden and free that Isabelle wishes she had told him sooner.

But all of that doesn't change the fact that she has no mark, that she has no soulmate. 

And then, the unthinkable happens. Robert and Maryse Lightwood have a third son, and he is born with no marks. His name is Max, and the minute Isabelle sees him, every part of her wakes suddenly, furious rebellion burning through her, fire and rage so strong, they could consume her. She loves Max instantly, all of her vowing to protect him from their mother, from the world.

She learns, on the day of Max's birth, that the reason it thundered at the time of her birth, was because she was born to be a storm, that nothing and no one would stop her. She is Isabelle Lightwood, a force of nature, and she will tear down the world for the people she loves.

By the time Max's mark appears on his tenth birthday, Isabelle almost believes it. 

-

Magnus knows almost instantly that Alexander Lightwood is his soulmate. 

It's confirmed later, when Luke is safe and Alexander Lightwood stops in his rush to escape Magnus's apartment. 

"I trust you," Alec says.

Magnus's mark doesn't change, but Magnus knows, from living so long or from the tilt of Alec's head. He can't quite say how he knows, but he does. Magnus also knows why his mark doesn't change in that moment. 

Alexander Lightwood is clearly not ready to have a soulmate, much less have that soulmate be a Warlock. But Magnus supposes it's not about Alec being ready. It's about Magnus, and he has been waiting for this exact moment since he was old enough to understand what it meant. 

"I'll see you around," Magnus says.

"Maybe," Alec says.

If Alec hadn't looked so scared, Magnus might have said something. As it stands, he just smiles, charming, flirtatious, and composed.

"Oh," Magnus says, happiness bubbling over into his words. "You will."

-

Jace's mark turns on the day Isabelle knocks him over because she's hugging him so hard. She's shaking as she holds him, calling him an idiot for going after the demon on his own. But when she pulls away from him she's composed, her face set into a serene mask of calm so intense that Jace can tell instantly that Maryse has walked into the room. Isabelle smoothes her jacket down and tries to pull it closed without attracting Maryse's attention. She takes a step back and tucks her hands behind her back, her hair falling off her shoulders, even as her eyes slide past Jace and Maryse to focus on a point far into the distance of the Institute. 

Jace hates when Isabelle gets like this, because he can see how hard she's trying to appear unafraid when all she wants to do is curl into a ball and hide from Maryse. Their mother, for all that Jace loves her, has never been kind to the unmarked.

"Nephilim are the children of angels," she has been known to say. "That's why all Nephilim have soul marks."

But Isabelle was born without one, and Max didn't get his until he was ten-years-old, on the day of his rune ceremony. Much later than any other Shadowhunter has ever gotten their soulmark. But he had one, and Jace knows that's all that matters to Maryse. 

"Jace," Maryse says, her smile genuine and warm. "I'm glad to see you're okay. 

To Isabelle, she says nothing. 

When Maryse leaves, Jace turns to Isabelle. The difference on her is startling. Her eyes are focused again, a mixture of relief and anger on her face as she starts on Jace for going demon hunting on his own. 

"You could have died," she tells him. "You still might if Alec gets a hold of you."

"She can't treat you like that." Jace says. 

He doesn't say that he needed space, that the air in the Institute was so thick he felt like he was choking. He doesn't need to. He can tell Isabelle knows. She, more than anyone, understands what he feels, how empty the gestures, how "mom" feels like lead on his tongue. 

"That's mom for you," Isabelle says, tossing her hair and lifting her chin, as though she can hide the hurt in her eyes. As if she has ever tried when it's just her and Jace. 

Jace loves Maryse, but he will never love her enough to forgive her for what she does to Isabelle. 

"Some family you have," Jace says, offhanded, automatic. 

Your family. Not ours. 

Isabelle scoffs. "Shut up," she says. "Mom may be awful, but Alec and Max aren't. And neither are you."

"I don't count," Jace says.

Isabelle is quiet for a long moment, and when Jace looks up, Isabelle is looking at him, her brown eyes hard and determined. She takes three steps forward so that she's holding onto Jace's shoulders. They're eleven, matching each other inch for inch in terms of height. Isabelle shakes him, her mouth set into a hard line, a nearly identical copy of Maryse. Maryse ice hard, but Isabelle a more malleable frost. Isabelle like this is not someone Jace will argue with. He knows, bone deep, that whatever comes out of her mouth next will be absolute truth. 

"We're family," she tells him. "Get that through your pretty, but super thick skull."

Soul marks turning burn like hot flames. They damage. They're painful and horrible. Or so, Jace was told. 

This, though. This moment with Isabelle, right before his words settle into their dark gray, right before Isabelle shoves him and calls him brother for the first time, this moment is nothing but peace. Warmth floods Jace's chest, pinpricks of heat following the words over his heart. He settles for the first time in a long time. For the first time, in a long time, he feels at home.

Jace exhales.

-

The mark on Clary's neck changes to black on the day she sees Isabelle Lightwood. 

No one, absolutely no one, is surprised.

-

Simon thinks Jace Lightwood is his soulmate, and he is always between fifty percent horrified and fifty percent excited. With Jace, this seems to be about the norm. 

"There must be some mistake," Jace says when Simon shows him the scrawl down his side. 

"Is it?" Simon asks, not quite keeping the hopefulness out of his voice. 

Jace squints, his face so close to Simon's side, Simon can feel Jace's warm breath. 

"I wish I could say it was," Jace says, finally. 

His face is still focused on the mark down Simon's side. He touches it absentmindedly, and Simon's heart beats once, hard and out of sync. He also kind of wants to throw up. But with Jace, this is about the norm.

"No, you're right," Jace says. "That's my handwriting."

"Maybe we're platonic soulmates," Simon says. "You only have one mark right?"

"Uh," Jace says. 

"What?" Simon asks, half-terrified, half-excited.

Jace shrugs. "Do you remember the time I died?"

-

Alec knows after their first date, when they come back from Japan and he hands Magnus the omamori charm. He knows it when Magnus's face lights up, as though no one has ever thought to give him gifts. Alec knows it when Magnus smiles at him, knows it when Magnus says his name, so softly, Alec almost misses it.

"Oh, Alexander."

Magnus says Alec's name so often, Alec knows it's only a matter of time before the mark on his right palm burns to black. And Alec can't wait.

He can't wait.

He can't wait.


End file.
